Sagara Sousuke (inurzbases) wrote in ringadingfrogs,
Sagara Sousuke
inurzbases
ringadingfrogs

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ATTENTION.

I understand that today is a holiday known as Valentine's Day. However! It is important that no one accept gifts of any manner. Friends, strangers and secret and anonymous senders alike, this is a terrorist plot in order to terminate your life. They most likely have awaited for this day since meeting you. Explosive jewelry, items laced with poison and chocolate detonation devices. These are just some of many examples of tactics these people will use to accomplish their goals.

Also, notes and letters found in mailboxes and your shoe lockers should be ignored and submitted to an analyst to determine the sender. These notes are used to have you drop your guard and bring you to a location convenient to the enemy before they launch their pre-emptive strike against you.

This concludes the public warning about Valentine's Day. Any concerns may be directed to Sagara Sousuke. It is also recommended that any and all items received be submitted to me as well, where I shall guarantee the safety of your life if innocent, termination if not, and the appropriate methods of dealing with said items. It is also advised that people remain on guard and overly suspicious of the people around you.

This has been a public announcement from your neighbourhood watch.
Tags: sagara sousuke
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